August 31, 2009

• Finding relatives

  Last week I started an online search for some long-lost relatives.  And I found some!  Praise the Lord!  I was able to "chat" via Facebook and e-mail with 2 of my cousins.  One, a young man who is the son of a first cousin.  And the other is his mother, who I haven't seen in over 35 years.

  I'll start from the beginning -

  My mother had 4 siblings.  2 brothers, who had died long ago, and neither had children.  2 sisters, and all 3 of the sisters (my mother was the youngest and she is now 89) had 2 children each, a boy and a girl.

  In my growing- up years, we spent a lot of time in my mother's hometown of Philipsburg, PA with her oldest sister and those cousins.  I am still close to them today, closer lately, since my mother has been ill.  The other sister lived in Morristown, NJ, and we also spent a lot of time there, with those cousins.  Somewhere in the years between the time that middle sister died and now, my mother lost touch with that family.  I was in high school at the time of my aunt's death.

  My mother never wanted to keep in touch with her sister's family, and I was not in a position to tell her what to do or pursue it on my own, and then I let it drop as well.  My parents moved to FL, I got married and moved around with my husband's military career, and so on. 

  Lately, with my mother in a nursing home and in a debilitated state where she does not remember any of this, I have been writing back and forth with the Philipsburg cousins.  One of them now lives in FL, and we are Facebook friends, and so we keep up with each other.  Lately we have been talking a lot about the old days and my parents, and last week, we chatted about that other set of cousins, wondering where they are and how to find them.

  So, we started an online search.  We found an obituary for one cousin, who sadly died in 2004 at the age of 59.  We knew he had MS.  And then, through the obituary, I found out the names of his 4 children - I knew that he and his wife had divorced many years ago.  So, I started with the obvious - FACEBOOK!!!  I looked up the names of the children, who I knew had to be somewhere between the ages of 30 and 40+ now, and I found 2 of them!!!   One of them, a young man, was very gracious and happy to re-connect with family after all these years.  He gave me his mother's e-mail address, and she and I have been writing back and forth!  We are still trying to piece together the story of where the relationships fell apart and how it was that there had been no communication all these years.

  But the sister, who is now about 66 - 68 age-range - has not been heard from all these years.  They told me that they had run her brother's obituary for a couple of days, hoping she would get in touch with them.  So, now I had her married name - 2 married names, actually - and the name of her son, and try as I have, I cannot find them.  Not even an obituary.  The son's name is very common, so I would have trouble there, but the sister's name isn't.

  So, here is my request after that long story. . .  who knows . . . it is a small world.  I am putting the names on her just in case anyone knows anyone by these names!

  My cousin's name was Georgianna Daher, and she was originally from Morristown, NJ.  She married a Frank Flanagan, and they had a son, also Frank.  The last known address for Georgianna was Dover, NJ.  The son, Frank, was last known living in PA somewhere.  Apparently, after her divorce from Frank Flanagan, Georgianna married a man named Joe Brady.

  The whole family was originally from Philipsburg, PA, near State College.

  I have been praying about this and I know that if the Lord would have me find Georgianna, it will happen. 

  But, the important thing to learn from this sad story is not to follow my mother's ( and some of her family's) footsteps and let pride, hurt, and a desire to be "right" keep you from staying in touch with family members. 

  I have asked my mother about these family members, in hopes that she will remember something that will help, but she is not lucid enough to remember any of this.

  My other cousins, the ones who I am continually chatting with and am soooo thankful for, are talking about putting together a written record of the family.  No one has done it, to our knowledge, and I think it is a great idea!

  • 8:23 am
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