My sister-in-law, Joan, and I had a baby shower for Amanda and little Megan today.  Megan is 5 weeks old, but we had the shower after she arrived, because Amanda really didn't need any newborn things, and everyone could see her!  Amanda's 4 roommates from her college days at Messiah College all came - 3 from PA and 1 from Bridgewater, VA, one with a 2-month old baby named Henry.   Also, Sam's aunt and cousin and his elderly grandmother were here.  Then there were various other friends!  Here are a few pictures I took -

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

Look at these two cutie pies!

                                   

                                   

                                   

And Charlie came over after his nap to see everyone!

                                   

I made a diaper bag for Amanda.  A couple of months ago, we had been to a quilt show here, and she admired this "Bali Bag" made from batiks.  She commented that she absolutely loved the colors and it would make a wonderful diaper bag!  I said that there was absolutely no way I could tackle a bag like that!  My skills were not that good!  After Amanda left the show that day, Betsy talked me into trying it.  So, I bought the pattern, came home and ordered the kit from the company.  I was overwhelmed!  I spent hours and hours just trying to understand the instructions!  I had help from a friend, Ruth, who is an excellent seamstress and quilter.  I spent more hours and hours putting it all together, and it turned out pretty nicely!

                                   

Then, my other project for her was a smocked bonnet.  I learned how to smock and did several practice pieces, and then I had lots of help from another friend, Jessie, on putting the bonnet together.

                                   

Those two projects stretched my skills quite a bit!  I love smocking and want to do more, but no more bags for me!!!

                                   

Shiner is the puppy who is staying with us to see if he will make a good hearing dog for Betsy.  He is a 7-month old papillon.  He was not a good candidate for his breeder to use for either showing or breeding, because he has one white area and one black around his eyes, but he has shown good potential to be trained to recognize sounds that he can alert Betsy to.

                                             

                                             

                                             

He is so cute!  He has bonded with Betsy right away.  The only problem we have noticed is that he has barked whenever anyone comes near Betsy, or even into the same room.  He scared Charlie today - barked when little Charlie walked in the house!  So, we need to determine if that is his personality, or if it is just him being nervous about his new surroundings, the fact that he has moved a few times now, and can be stopped.  You can't take a hearing dog out in public who barks at everyone!

Tomorrow, the woman who is going to be training him will come over and evaluate him.  We have a month to determine if he can be trained as a hearing dog and will work well with Bets.  Meanwhile, Betsy can start taking him to obedience classes and working with him at home.  He won't be ready to train for sounds until he is a little older.

Oh, and the breeder named him Shiner because of his black eye!

I have so much to blog about!  There is a new dog living at our house for now - a potential hearing dog!  More about that tomorrow, with pictures, I hope, cuz he is a cutie!  And our summer reading alliteration!

But first I need to share what is on my heart.  I had a very nice Mother's Day, but it had quite a distressing glitch to it.  I had decided this morning that I would go visit my mother at the nursing home, with the flowers I had bought her from me and my brother, instead of going to Sunday school.  Then, go to church and be home in time for this hearing dog to arrive so that Betsy would have us here too.

My mistake was checking Facebook before I left.  A "friend" - a man who used to live here and go to our church - he and his wife are friends of ours, but they are quite a bit younger, with young children, and we haven't seen them for years - he is one of my Facebook friends.  Anyway, this was his status this morning, where you write "what's on your mind."  

Do not despise your mother when she is old. (Proverbs 23:22) Translation:  Do not let her rot in a nursing home!

That statement hurt me terribly.  It made me angry and hurt.  I felt judged and sentenced.  I felt like he was telling me that a decision to place one's mother in a nursing home was an unBiblical and ungodly one.  I found myself letting it zap the joy out of my day.

Putting my mother in a nursing home was the most difficult thing I have ever done.  It was not done lightly.  Keeping her there, when rehab was not working, when she was getting weaker and needed complete nursing care, was a decision we made with much prayer and consideration.  She needs to be fed, changed, completely taken care of.  I cannot physically handle all the care she needs.  We would need to turn a room into a hospital room with a hospital bed and hire nurses around the clock if we were to keep her home. 

The nursing home she is in is not perfect.  I have had to work out some of the problems.  But she is getting very good care.  The nurses tell me they love taking care of my mother.  She is very sweet to them.  I imagine she is like a child to them now; she is more and more confused, she needs to be fed, and for the most part, all 90 pounds of her can be easily managed.  The CNAs work hard to keep her clean and fed and cared for.  The nurses work hard to keep her meds straight and all the other things that nurses do.  I visit her 2 - 3 times a week, usually sobbing when I leave, and so I can't go any more than that.  Jim visits her several times a week too.  I do any laundry and I buy her diapers. 

I translate that verse in Proverbs differently than that young man does.  I believe with all my heart that we are to honor our parents and make sure they get the best care possible.  I don't think that Scripture says we need to do all of that in our own homes.   I know there are those who do, who think that what I have done is sinful and wrong.  Fortunately, I have a family who supports me and friends who encourage me.  Most of you on xanga do that too.  Or if you disagree with my decision, not one xanga person has said it.  Thank you.

I messaged this "friend" privately to tell him how I felt about his statement.  He apologized, telling me that it was intended for those who just want to put their elderly parents in a nursing home even when they are healthy and mentally sound.  I felt like he brushed it off with excuses, but I accepted his apology, and that is that. 

Still, it hurt so much.  There is a sign - twisting and clenching your hands near your heart - to describe a broken heart.  That described my heart - as I took flowers to my mother, then worshipped in church, signing the service, enjoying the day with my family.  My heart felt like someone was crushing it.  All day I have been on the verge of bursting into tears.

But, I am ok, because as a Christian, I can choose joy.  I can choose forgiveness of those who have hurt me.  I can choose to not let the words of others make my  ministry ineffective.  Why?  Because God is my sovereign Lord!  It only matters what He thinks of me, and He has forgiven my sins and made me His child by faith through grace!  Thank you, God!

Yesterday, I had Charlie and Megan with me while Amanda was downstairs working on music for a wedding she is playing for this Saturday.  Enjoy!

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

                                        

We had dinner at our house last Saturday for Betsy's graduation celebration!  Lots of food!  We took a suggestion from a recent issue of Taste of Home magazine, and we had "make your own trifles" for dessert.  They were a big hit!  We put out lots of choices of fixings for trifles - pound cake, brownies, puddings, all kinds of fruit, whipped cream, and ice cream.  Then everyone took one of these glass mugs and made their own trifle with layers of whatever they wanted!  Everyone was going back for more!

Here is the side of the table ready for the main food, some of which wasn't out yet.  I didn't get a good picture of the trifle fixings, but here are the glasses to put them in, and the pound cake and some of the fruit.

                                 

Here is my nephew Josh, with his newest Lego set he put together -

                                 

Suzanne and her Grandpa -

                                 

Jim's parents -

                                  

Betsy and Adam -
                                 

Suzanne -
                                  

Jim's brother, Kip -
                                 

Pam and Steve, our good friends -
                                

Joan and Elinor.  Joan, my sister-in-law, helped me so much in the kitchen!

                                

Some other friends and their little boys -

                                

                                

                                

                                

Charlie and then Megan -
                                
   
                                

And finally, Aunt Suzanne holding Megan -

                                

We had a wonderful time!

Betsy's graduation from Roanoke College was this past Saturday, May 2nd.  We were so proud of her!

I took a lot of pictures, so I won't post them all at once.  Betsy's friend, Adam, who also just finished his post-grad year of school in LA in audio engineering, flew in for the graduation.  They get teased a lot, I am told, by those who know them, about the sound guy dating the deaf girl!  We love Adam, and we were glad he could come in for the graduation.

Friday night before Baccalaureate -

                                       

                                       

                                       

Betsy got a front row seat - so that she could see the interpreters.  We were glad that the school, which has not always been as accomodating as we would like, was very well organized about interpreters for all of this!

                                       

There were 2 interpreters.  This woman has become a dear friend.  She taught Betsy ASL at the local community college when Betsy was still a high school student and just losing her hearing.  Then she taught Jim and I several classes as well.  She was very teary as she interpreted for this special occasion! 

                                       

                                       

And here is the other interpreter - they switched off about every 20 mins.

                                       

Graduation was Saturday morning, an outside, 2 1/2 hr long ceremony!  We were able to see the stage, but not well enough to get many pictures during it.  But I had another great view of the interpreters!

                                       

And here is Betsy after it was over!  She had worked hard and was rewarded by being one of only 7 students who graduated summa cum laude!

                                       

The school served lunch afterwards to the graduates and their guests - here is Bets getting ready to sit down -

                                       

And I got this picture of Suzanne, who also came in for the weekend -

                                       

After all of that, many of the departments had receptions.  The Theatre department had one on stage, and the decorations were cute!  Look at this cake - of cupcakes!

                                       

                                       

And here is Betsy with 2 of her professors -

                                       

That's all for now!  More later, with the dinner/party we had that evening at our house.

                                       

                                       

                                       

                                     

These pictures will be from my first day at Virginia Beach - last Friday.  Jim had meetings all day, so I spent most of the day doing some hand stitching in the room.  But I did take a walk.  I went out to the boardwalk - our hotel was on the beach and there is about a 3-mile stretch of boardwalk.  Not like any boardwalk I was familiar with.  First of all, it is cement!  Not boards!

                                           

I was expecting some shops or restaurants along the boardwalk, but there were only hotels.  There were lots of people walking - by now it was about 2 PM - I had waited until the day warmed up to take my walk.  And lots of bikes -

                                          

And these signs all over - that no one was paying attention to -

                                          

All the bikers I saw were on the boardwalk, not the bike path!  But, I did see these interesting bikes on the bike path -

                                          

                                          

Here are some other beach scenes -

                                          

                                          

                                          

And there was a place to rent horses!

                                          

Later, from my room, I got these pictures of people riding horses on the beach -

                                          

                                          

                                          

So, back to my walk - it was freezing on that boardwalk, even with my sweatshirt on.  So, I turned and walked down to the first street, which looked more like what I was picturing a boardwalk to look like.  I grew up in Philly, remember, with the beaches of New Jersey so close by.  And the beaches we went to in Florida had shops and all on the boardwalk (not to mention that they were made of BOARDS!)

                                          

                                           

                                            

And a few other interesting things to see -

                                               

                                              

                                              

                                               

                                               

                                               

                                               

                                               

When I am traveling to a meeting with Jim, the one thing I do NOT like is that I have to eat on my own during the day.  I am not fond of going to a restaurant and sitting down by myself and ordering.  I will do fast food, but there wasn't one.  There was that Starbucks, around the corner, so this was lunch. . .

                                               

I took it back to the room, where I found Jim, who had run up to do some work on his computer before the next meeting -

                                               

So, that was my beach weekend!  The day I took my walk was chilly, but by the next day, when I was out and about with Debbie, it was in the 90's!

                                                                  

Virginia Beach part 1 will actually be part 2!  Too many pictures to put them all on at one time - y'all will get bored!  But I am starting with the 2nd day first!

Jim had a meeting in Virginia Beach this past weekend and I went with him.  My friend, Debbie, lives in Chesapeake, right nearby.  Debbie and I have been friends for more than 40 years - we were best friends all through high school.  Inseparable.  Until the day her family moved from our little town outside of Philadelphia to Charlotte, NC, on my birthday of our senior year of high school.  I thought I would never be happy again!  But, we survived!  We visited each other a lot.  A flight from Philly to Charlotte in 1971 cost $60!  I saved every penny I earned working those summers to be able to fly down to see Debbie.

The years flew by and we were in each others' weddings and we had children, saw each other from time to time, went to a couple of high school reunions together.  She stayed in Charlotte while I moved all around the country.  But they eventually moved too, to Chesapeake, although they are about to move again and are trying to sell their house.   Recently, it has worked out for us to see each other more often.  And she had all day Saturday available to hang out with me!

We started out with a little breakfast at Starbucks -

                                    

This next picture is actually from lunch, a little later.
                                    
                                       

Then we went to a craft show and then to some knitting/smocking/fabric stores, had lunch, and eventually went back to her house where she wanted to show me how to make bows for our granddaughters!  Debbie can do it all - she has been sewing since we were in high school - she knits, smocks, all kinds of hand and machine embroidery, and now she makes bows!

Here are the bows and more stuff to make bows in her sewing room -
        
                                          

                                           

She has a great sewing room, with all kinds of machines -

                                           

                                              

And she had been smocking a dress and was going to put this ribbon on it -

                                              

So, we were ready for my bow-making lesson.

                                              

                                              

                                              

First you take the ribbon -

                                              

We decided on this ribbon, for Megan -

                                              

After you trim it, you have to pass the edge through the candle flame to seal it -

                                              

Then you start making loops and wrap some thread around the center -

                                              

                                              

At one point, even with the instruction sheet, Debbie needed to call her daughter, who lives completely across the country, to get some more instruction -

                                              

And then you glue a little knot on, and glue all of that to a clip -

                                               

                                               

Every time you cut something new, like the little piece for the knot, you had to seal the edges -

                                               

I think I need a little more practice!   But we had a great time!

                                               

Later that night, Jim and I and Debbie and her husband went out for dinner and the guys had a chance to catch up too; they hadn't seen each other for a few years.

So, that was Saturday.  Next time I'll tell you all about my Friday and walking around the beach area!

      

I went over to Amanda's this morning to help out a little and see the kids.  They are all doing great and adjusting nicely to life with a new baby!

Here is Charlie - first I took a picture while he was still in his pajamas -

                                   

He really loves playing ball.  Here, he is coming up the stairs with this big ball!

                                   

                                   

And then we played with his smaller ball -

                                   

                                   

                                   

                                   

Megan slept through all of that -

                                  

                                  

Random pictures - you all can figure it all out!

                                  

                                  

                                  

                                  

                                  

                                  

                                  

Megan will be 1 week old tomorrow!

Today was move-out day for my mother's furniture.  It was just over a year ago that we moved her into assisted living, and since we have been down-sizing her, this move didn't take very long.  Jim and I had packed everything up and so all the movers had to do was load the truck and unload it here.

All of you who read my Facebook page know all this already!  I mentioned how difficult it is to be the one making decisions for someone else and to have power of attorney to sign for all those decisions, especially these decisions I am making for my mother at this end-stage of her life.

Now it is finished, (the move), and I am thankful, and I could feel the stress melting away as the truck pulled away!  Now I have just one place to manage her care, and that is the nursing home, where she is now a long-term custodial patient, and on private-pay, I might add!  The difficulty now will be to see her money dwindle and then to have her on Medicaid at some point.

What an interesting time of life this is that God has ordained for me, and for many of you.  On the one hand, it is the most difficult time of life, that of the role-reversal and taking care of elderly parents.  I have been the "parent" for about 6 years now, and have managed 4 moves (two of them while my father was still alive), placed one or the other of them in a nursing home 6 times, and had the privilege of leading both of my parents to faith in Jesus Christ.

On the other hand, it is the most wonderful time of life, watching my daughter become a mother twice now!  Having grandchildren is such a joy!  I absolutely love the time I spend with all of my children and grandchildren!  There is never one minute of wishing they didn't need me; only the greatest desire to do whatever I can for them and spend as much time with them as possible!

That's it!  No pictures!  Just my reflections on life here at the end of this very stressful day.

Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace as He carries us through these difficult times of life that He ordained for us!  I am sitting here with a great sense of His grace and peace flowing over me.  I know that so many people have been praying for me these past weeks and months, and that is truly a gift from the Lord.

The book I have listed here as one I am currently reading is so good!  It is a very thorough and interesting discussion on Deaf culture.  So, if any of you want to learn a lot about the Deaf community, historically and present-day, I recommend it as one of the best books on the subject!